Yesterday I got an email that had a bit of a “sticking it to me” undertone to my personal email address. It was from someone who’d previously contacted me about wanting to chat about working together.
The email
The story in short is that I got a nice email in the beginning of June roughly setting out what it was about. No specifics but a question about if we could meet and talk about future opportunities of working together. I’m always keen to hear more when it comes to that but I’ve also learnt that I have to be honest. Both for the other party and for myself. There’s is no point wasting anyones time. Therefore I responded saying that I’m currently fully booked on working on a very hectic project due to which, and it’s location, I can’t meet up at the moment. I also clarified that I’m unsure of when my contract ends and made it clear that post this contract I will be looking for something more flexible as I am setting up my own thing.
A few days later I got a response with a suggestion of could we perhaps do a Skype chat to start with to which I responded that I should be home the following weekend so let’s try that. For a number of reasons the Skype conversation didn’t happen. A week later which was last Friday I got an email asking if I could please advice on when I’d be able to talk. I didn’t answer that email straight away and come late afternoon on Monday I got an email basically saying “thanks for nothing” and calling me an amateur.
Now, perhaps I should have dropped the person a note after the weekend where the Skype conversation didn’t happen. And perhaps I should, no matter what, have responded during the weekend. Fair enough. I normally would. But right now is not “normally”. There are a number of reasons why I haven’t responded. None having to do with not wanting to chat, but simply being a little bit under it.
As much as I shouldn’t let an email like that get to me, it still did. In no way did I mean to offend anyone, but the snarky comment was in my view not justified. It was rude and meant to hurt. And it did a little. I don’t know the person who wrote the email and as such that person knows nothing about me. If they did, they would understand why I e.g. didn’t repsond last weekend.
A harsh email is easy to send
When it comes to our behaviour online it’s easy to assume the negative and drop a harsh remark about someone not doing this or that. The one thing to keep in mind is that unless you really know that person and are one of their closest friends you probably know very little if anything at all about what is happening in that person’s life. For all you know something might have happened. Hopefully not and in most cases it won’t be anything serious. But, it doesn’t have to be a big thing. It can be a really small thing or a number of them causing someone to e.g. not respond as quickly as they normally would.
Instead…
Before assuming the worse about someone, remember why you contacted them in the first place. If you are the one who is after something, perhaps it’s worth dropping a gentle and understanding, not judging, remark about how, when the person has the time, it would be great to chat. And rather than leaving it up to them to arrange, suggest a few times to make it easier for them to know at least when you are available. But don’t assume the worse. If you do that you should probably think twice about why you contacted them in the first place.
As for the person who contacted me, that kind of behaviour, online or offline, does not go down well in my book. I have absolutely no interest now or ever to work with people who behave like that. Only imagine what would happen if the going actually got tough. Oh dear.
Tomorrow – Day 172 | Late night. Early morning.
Image source: www.flickr.com/photos/fuzzylittlemanpeach/4689679368
