The other day I came across a ghost. Here is that story and a few things it made me reflect upon when it comes to communication. Namely, the importance of daring to speak up and the importance of creating an environment where speaking up is encouraged and safe.
The story about the ghost
On Monday I was in a shop helping my dad make some copies of his key. Whilst I talked to the shop assistant there was a loud bang. Something fell down. “It’s a ghost”, the shop assistant said, somewhat in passing. We continued talking through what I needed help with and a minute or so later she mentioned the ghost again. I’ve already forgotten the context. Perhaps I said something like “I hope nothing else falls down”, or similar. Either way, there was something in her tone the second time around that made think she wasn’t joking. So I asked her if she was serious and she replied ‘Yes’.
She went on to say that you have to be careful who you tell but yes, there has been a few unexplained incidents. She shared the story of one and also that the things that just fell down had been where they were for ages and had no reason to fall down. She showed me how she got goosebumps just telling me and went on to say that at times she also feels a presence, as if someone is standing next to her. Not in a scary or threatening way but just like someone is there. If you’ve ever felt it, you know what she means. She’s told the owner of the shop about the events, and that she reckons it’s granddad who used to own the shop and is still around.
Daring to tell and inviting the tell
What all of this has made me reflect upon is the importance of daring to tell but also the importance of being open and inviting those tells. The shop assistant shared something with me that could make her sound crazy. Had I not picked up on her hints and then asked if she was serious, she’d probably never told me.
In a work environment – or personal for that matter – trust and openness are key. As an employee/ team member, you want to be listened to. You want to be able to speak up without having to worry about what you say or ask for. You want to know that what you say is taken on board, and that what you say won’t be used against you.
As a leader, you want to – or at least should – be open for that input. That the people reporting to you dare to say what’s on their mind. Dare to say when things are too much, when they don’t agree, when they see a risk, or an opportunity etc. But you also have to be aware of the signs.
It’s not always easy for people to speak up. To say what’s on their mind, what they think, need, or for that matter that things are tough. As good leaders, no matter what level, we need to be alert for those signs and help those who don’t feel comfortable, those who don’t speak up for one reason or another, to do so.
Fostering a safe environment for daring to share
My partner D and I encourage our kids to always speak up for themselves. We tell them that their voice, needs, and opinions matter. We try to reassure and instil in them from a young age that we’ll never get angry when they tell us the truth. No matter what they tell us or how serious it is. We won’t always be happy about what they tell us or agree, but we’ll never get angry and say “How could you…”. We hope this will help in the future, not the least when they are teenagers and various situations may occur.
The encounter with the shop assistant the other day made me think of the importance of creating those environments at work too. About being present, open and observant for the little signs when someone might have something or am trying to get something across. And about the importance of feeling like you can speak up. No matter what it is about.
It’s of course not always that easy, or appropriate, but it is important and I do believe that work environments are better with a culture where sharing and speaking up is encouraged and safe.
So, with this story that started with a ghost in mind, I want to leave you with these reflections:
- Do you dare to say what’s on your mind?
- Do you dare to ask for what you need?
- Do you pick up on when others have something to say?
- Do you help those who are reluctant to share/ ask?
- Do you fully listen when others speak?
- Do you create and help foster an environment where speaking up is safe and encouraged?
Anna x
